Steps to Heal from Divorce

We were all created for a purpose.  When “bad” things happen to us it is a chance for us to learn and grow.  Divorce is one of those situations.  You may feel broken, hurt, anger, hatred, grief and multiple other emotions.  The good news is that you can heal and grow through the experience and, someday you will look back on the experience with gratitude for how you have grown and what you have become as a result.

There are things you can do to make your situation easier and to heal and grow from the situation.

Self-Love and Self-Care. Initially you feel totally broken, hurt and angry and just want relief.   Practice self-love – treat yourself like you would treat a child, with kindness and love.  Stop beating yourself up in your mind.  Practicing self-care will help you with loving yourself.  Here are some things you can do:

  1. Gratitude.  Practicing gratitude is probably the farthest thing from your mind in your situation, but gratitude will make you feel better.  Start a journal and each day write a few things that you are grateful for.  It could be something as small as a good cup of coffee or nice weather, but write it down and feel it.  Within a week or so you are going to feel much happier.
  2. Journal.  Divorce can bring out all kinds of negative emotions.  Emotions like anger, guilt, fear, etc. are toxic to our bodies.  To help with releasing these negative emotions write in a journal.  The act of writing can help to release the negative energy from your body.
  3. Take care of your physical body.  Make sure you are eating healthy and nutritious foods.  Get enough sleep and exercise.  Limit your use of alcohol.  Alcohol is a depressant and while it may make you feel better for a moment, it is going to make you feel worse the next day, not only physically but mentally and emotionally.
  4. Prayer and Meditation.  I like to think of prayer and meditation as the link between myself and God, Source, the Universe.  Pray – ask God, Source, the Universe for guidance in your situation and to show you what you need to learn or do.  Ask expecting the guidance and then be open to it.  Meditate – when you clear your mind during meditation it opens you to hear the guidance you asked for.  God, Source the Universe often speaks to you through your intuition – learn to listen to it.  Meditation is also calming and beneficial for your mental, emotional and physical health.
  5. Do Something You Like.  Don’t sit and dwell on your situation – find something you like to do and do it!  Even little things will make you feel better – a bubble bath, fresh flowers in your home or take a walk in nature.  Whatever makes YOU feel better.

Accept Responsibility for Your Life. The only thing you can control in life is YOUR beliefs, thoughts, words and actions and everything that happens in your life is a result of your beliefs, thoughts, words and actions.  You have no control over the actions of another person.  In accepting 100% responsibility for your life you are taking control so that you can change your life.

Our beliefs about ourselves and the world in general control our thoughts and therefore, our actions.  As we grow up we take on many fears and beliefs that do not serve us.  They are taught to us by our parents, teachers, religious leaders, and our perception of life events.  They are usually not taught intentionally but no one is perfect and it happens.  Often these things we learn to believe about ourselves are not the truth.  We usually end up in a situation we don’t like because of subconscious fears and limiting beliefs, especially around our own worthiness.   If you dig deep and uncover these fears and beliefs you can then release them so they no longer control you.  By releasing the fears and limiting beliefs you become empowered to create your life the way you want it.

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential in healing.  Many people think it is saying that what happened was okay.  It is not!  Forgiveness is for you.  Forgiveness is the letting go of the negative energy you are holding about the situation.  It is not forgetting, but letting it go so it no longer has control over you.

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